Oh, Baby!

by on 11:29 am in babies

Jim Izzie Hannah

My second granddaughter, Isabella Maya, turned a month old yesterday. I’ll see her for the fifth time later today, Mother’s Day. Each time I’m in her presence, my heart melts and I’m mesmerized just looking at her—all the more so while holding her. Her “perfect” features add to my delight, but are really just “icing” on the scrumptious “cake.”

In my personal/family and professional life (including teaching eight series to expectant first-time fathers), I have witnessed that the majority of men fall into one of two categories:  those that adore infants versus those who can’t relate to children until they turn about seven. I’m obviously in the former camp. I was even “taken” by my youngest sister until she turned two, when I became very competitive with her for the attention/affection she drew.

One phenomenon that surprises me every time is that a lot of seemingly tough or gruff guys, most recently my mother’s man friend, become spellbound gazing at newborns. I believe that most of these men are captivated by the same qualities that I find so endearing, the sheer innocence/purity and peace that these tiny creatures exude. Despite the simplicity of babies’ basic, primitive needs, these qualities appear very palpable. My sense, as well as my spiritual belief, is that these little beings remain in the angelic realm awhile. However, it doesn’t take too long for their egos to emerge.

I can’t wait to hold sweet Isabella (Izzie) on my lap and stare down lovingly at her again this afternoon. I am also eager to again watch her eight-year-old sister Hannah cherishing her new, live “doll.” Hannah and I truly savor each of Isabella’s gestures and sounds. Hannah often softly utters “awe!,” as she observes Izzie’s graceful movements and hears her purr.

We can all extract some vital messages or lessons from the infant kingdom, especially amidst the complexity and stresses of our lives. Learning aside, these precious beings have an exceptionally calming/soothing influence on our bodies and serve to restore our soulfulness.

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A Most Soulful Day

by on 7:01 pm in joy

When love comes in and takes you for a spin, oh la la, c’est magnifique (it’s magnificent)! ~ From the song C’est Magnifique, composed by Cole Porter

For me, last Saturday was deliciously soulful—what is commonly dubbed a “banner day!” It began with my wife Ruth facilitating a meditation group at our temple. True to Ruth’s nature, she artfully interwove themes of unity, peace/harmony, glory and majesty. By the end of the relatively brief session, the small group in attendance had filled the room with palpably glowing energy.

marriage book workshop

During the afternoon, Ruth and I hosted 10 of the 20 couples who are writing sidebars for our forthcoming book Secrets of a Soulful Marriage. Through rich plenary-group and small-group discussions, along with the process of refining written drafts, we fleshed out and enlivened various attributes of a soulful marriage. Some of the themes that emerged involved:  devotion, respect, adoration, honoring of individual differences, championing autonomy and personal growth, life balance, etc. Ruth and I had the great privilege of speaking about the development of our nearly 43-year marriage and about our strong calling to write this book. The high quality/consciousness of the couples and the depth of the shared remarks pervaded our home with love! The stark beauty of the gathering intensified Ruth’s and my commitment to encourage a growing community of soulful couples.

Last night, over 50 people attended a milestone birthday party for Ruth. The guests included four generations of local family members, friends we’ve known as far back as the 70’s and 80’s, and friends we’ve made during the past year.  While my “lit-up” wife received her share of tributes, the “show-stealer” was our infant granddaughter Isabella Maya, born exactly three-weeks ago; a number of folks clamored for the opportunity to hold her.

Just like the excitement that accompanies a peak experience, my heart was dancing from these day-long, glorious events.

Your divinely elegant or awe-inspiring day may look very different than mine. I invite you to recall one such day from your past and to manifest another one soon.

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Coffee, Roses, or Both?

by on 4:50 pm in presence

What is essential is invisible to the eye. ~ The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Rose

“Wake up and smell the coffee!” “Stop and smell the roses.” I regard these trite commands as very apt advice for our contemporary culture, in which so many of us are absorbed with work and/or technology. I’ll place my order for several deep whiffs of the delicate flower and the brewed aroma.

The past several months, I’ve been working too much on too many projects. Although I enjoy and value each one of them, knowing that I serve in the process, I’ve recently been feeling saturated. Can you relate? Listening to my inner guidance this lovely spring Saturday morning, I pulled the plug on one of those “glorious” projects, and instantly felt greeted by a summer night’s breeze. Before doing so, I engaged my wife, Ruth, in about an hour of inane and silly conversation, as we lounged in bed. Each of us relished the refreshment.

Upon arising, I consciously sensitized myself to the feel of the shower water penetrating my skin—what simple pleasure! Proceeding to cut the grass, I also attuned more than usual to my yard and to the cloudless blue sky.

Hannah and Isabella

The afternoon served up the prime delight of the day! My elderly mother, Ruth and I visited our two-week-old granddaughter, Isabella. Once again, I was captivated by this cherubic creature hanging out in a miniature, yet perfect human body. I basked in Isabella’s sublimely peaceful state, especially while delicately holding her and staring down at her. The smell of her head and the touch of her silky-smooth skin and fine hair embellished my pleasure. These precious moments were topped off by witnessing Hannah, age eight, relating so lovingly, tenderly and maternally to the newborn sister in her arms. Like me, Hannah seemed mesmerized by many of the baby’s facial contortions and slow movements.

Thus, as I cast aside my busyness for most of the day, my senses and heart were joyfully enlivened and I was reminded of Saint-Exupery’s profoundly simple, beautiful quote at the top of this post.

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Letter to Pope Francis

by on 8:37 am in Pope Francis

Pope_Francis

Submitted by Retired Unitarian Rev. Rudolph (Rudi) C. Gelsey

April 9, 2013

His Holiness, Pope Francis

Apostolic Palace

00120 Vatican City

Dear Pope Francis:

I greet you with jubilation as our new Pope. I say “our” because you are a citizen of the world and a spiritual leader to all of us. I love everything you did during Holy Week. I salute your concern for the poor, disadvantaged, and disabled as well as support your efforts at mutual Christian-Muslim understanding and reconciliation.  You remind me of Pope John XXIII, the martyred Archbishop Oscar Romero, and your namesake, St. Francis of Assisi

To introduce myself, I’m a retired Unitarian Universalist minister with 51 years of service to my communities and dedication to the idea of world peace. I don’t think of peace as an interval between wars. Henceforth, with all the terrible weaponry, we cannot afford the brutality and destruction of more military conflicts. In this spirit, it is my pleasure and privilege to send you a copy of my book, Mending Our Broken World: A Path to Perpetual Peace.

Our first global Perpetual Peace Initiative consisted in contacting the heads of state of the five nations possessing veto power in the UN Security Council, USA, UK, France, Russia, and China. Each president as well as the Secretary General of the UN received a copy of Mending Our Broken World and a personal letter requesting they work together to abolish the veto power at the UN. In the common interest of the world community, this would overcome the system of hegemony enabling the United Nations to be truly a family of equal nations cooperating for the common good.

I look forward to hear your wisdom and that you will be open to collaborate in this effort.

In hope and humility,

Retired Rev. Rudolph Gelsey

Rev. Rudi Gelsey has a story of his life of peace activism in our men’s anthology (this site). Jim Sharon is a member of Rudi’s board to promote his “Perpetual Peace” book, which is receiving international acclaim.

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The Nature, Power and Beauty of Meditation

by on 9:29 am in meditation

meditation

My wife Ruth and I have been doing and teaching a wide variety of meditation practices for decades. Having just completed a very lovely and evocative leaders’ intensive in meditation, I feel drawn to offer several remarks about the topic of meditation.

Firstly, let me address two common misconceptions about meditation. One is that the sole, or at least primary purpose of meditation is to promote stress-reduction or deep relaxation. Although that result is often sought and relaxation-centered meditations have been widely researched and publicized, stress management is only one function of meditation.

Another major misconception is that meditation requires totally emptying one’s mind or avoiding extraneous thoughts. Virtually nobody can rid of all competing thoughts. Beginners typically experience considerable thought intrusion in the meditative process. The key is to gently/patiently and without judgment, return one’s thoughts to the focal point, i.e. to observing the breath or attuning to a specific mantra, whenever the individual becomes aware that his mind has strayed.

Many people don’t realize that some form of meditation has been advanced in every culture and religion. In addition to quiet, sedentary application, meditation sometimes involves chanting, music and/or movement. Various types of meditation can be a useful method of contemplation, clarity, prayer, healing, developing creativity, imagination and receptivity, and for expanding consciousness. In the latter case, meditation ultimately serves as a means of effacing the ego and generates spiritual development. A person’s sense of individual identity (“small self”) very gradually extends to include a realization of Self—a gnosis of the unity that pervades the universe. That profound result transcends conceptual recognition or philosophical belief.

For beginners and advanced practitioners, meditating in a group or with a community often proves a rich and powerful way to intensify one’s experience. When a person relinquishes the expectation of a particular outcome and refrains from rushing his/her process, meditation becomes a more enjoyable and fruitful practice. A sense of beauty and/or accomplishment usually occurs as a byproduct, especially after regular, prolonged practice, rather than through strong desire or intention.

 

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Teaching the Attributes of Courage

by on 10:59 am in courage

Excerpts from a training article by Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert


One cannot discover new oceans until he [she] has courage to lose sight of the shore.
–Unknown

Most people have differing opinions about who has courage and how they got it. Is it learned or innate? Do you maneuver in and out depending on the circumstance at stake or can you keep advancing your level of courage consciousness? Extracting courageous leadership from courageous figures of the past can help define what can be applied in training and how they can be used to achieve results.

“Much of my life I thought you were either courageous or you weren’t. But, courage is being displayed everywhere, and one size courage does not fit all,” states John Jackson, an adjunct associate professor at Central Queensland University in Australia. He highlights a few courage distinctions displayed by famous people:

  • “Mother Theresa had the courage to work for many years with the poor of India in what most people would regard as a hopeless no-win situation.
  • Nelson Mandela had the courage to take on the apartheid system, but not to renounce armed resistance.
  • Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King had the courage to champion and live non-violent resistance.
  • Winston Churchill had the courage to do whatever it took to rid the world of Hitler and Nazism.

Courage is generally associated with being a hero. Jackson continues, “I am no hero. Most of the time my most courageous act at work was to champion peace and harmony. But as Aristotle would remind us, virtue in this instance is finding the balance between being a strong peacemaker and being a strong push-over.

Many people define courage around convictions/values, taking risks, speaking up or overcoming an illness. If you have inklings about how to dial into their courage — great! That’s the first step. The learning curve escalates when you become adept at extracting the courage varieties permeating your environment and then honoring them.

Fluid Courage

  • En-courage feedback — it takes courage to learn from others’ perspectives. employees who Acknowledge the power of honesty.
  • Confront your limitations and seek personal accountability.
  • Be proactive. “True courage is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart” (this sentence was on a flag draped on a building by Ground Zero).
  • Cross-check to review how you’re doing with your own courage context and courage quotient.

A portal to your heart opens when you strive for the best outcome. Why? The heart matures during different stages of courage development. Revelation allows you to be more self-conscious. Consciousness thrives in contemplation. Contemplation centers you in silence. Silence breeds insight. Insights augment learning.

 
One day’s courage often predicts the next day’s expansion in creativity, inspiration, dedication, deeper engagement to the task, intensity, innovation and the willingness to share insights. Models of individual courage give others permission to grow. No longer immune to its energy, courage deposits allow your heart to exhibit genius.

Courage leadership emerges naturally when human spirits come from their hearts not their heads. These authentic moments reveal the truth about learning and growing!

About the Author:

Sandra Ford Walston, known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™, is a learning consultant, corporate trainer and courage coach. Sandra’s expertise allows her to focus on the tricks and traps of the human condition through recognizing and interpreting courage behaviors and courageous leadership styles. She is the author of three internationally-published books:  bestseller Courage, Stuck and Face It!

 

 

 

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The Big Love

by on 3:00 pm in love

Radiant Heart

“Love Makes the World Go Round.”  ~ song by Jane Morgan, 1962

Actually, love comprises the fundamental building blocks of the entire universe. Each of us yearns to love and to be loved. However, because each of us endured many hurts, we have erected barriers to intimacy.

Once we sufficiently risk opening ourselves to letting love in and to expressing our love to others, despite past rejections, disappointments, etc., we can pave the way for developing a much greater love relationship—the one with the Divine.

Since the mid 1970s, I have been highly privileged to be a student of the mystical tradition of Sufism, which quintessentially is a path of the heart. This path profoundly nurtures my heart’s longing and continually challenges me to open more to the limitless aspects, power and beauty of Love.

I’d like to share some evocative quotes that reflect the Big Love; these are from the most renowned Sufi poets of all time, a great woman Sufi saint and two of my Sufi mentors.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  ~ Jelaluddin Rumi, 13th century Sufi Master and poet

 ”I am happy even before I have a reason. I am full of Light even before the sky Can greet the sun or the moon. Dear companions, we have been in love with G-d for so very, very long. What can Hafiz now do but forever dance!” ~ Shams-ud-din Muhammad Hafiz, 14th century Sufi Master and poet

“The pleasures of life are blinding; it is love alone that clears the rust from the heart, the mirror of the soul.—Until the heart is empty, it cannot receive the knowledge of G-d.—When one has risen above human love, Divine Love springs forth.” ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan, early 20th-century Sufi Master (note: my present teacher is his living grandson, Pir Zia Inayat Khan)

“Love is for Love’s sake; Love is for G-d’s sake; if you love somebody this way, that person will generally start to change.” ~ Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al Dayemi, current Sufi Master

“O my Lord, if I worship You from fear of hell, burn me in hell. If I worship You from hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates. But if I worship You for Yourself alone, grant me then the beauty of your Face.”  ~ Rabia al Adawiyya, 8th century Sufi saint

I hope that these sayings serve to spark your spiritual attunement, as they do mine.

Toward the One,

Jim

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Spring Holiday Themes

by on 7:55 pm in ego-reduction, humility, transcendence

jesus-christ-risen

Each year the Christian holiday of Easter and the Jewish Passover occur in proximity to each other. Both of these are festive events, commemorating Christ’s resurrection and the Jews’ attaining freedom from slavery in Egypt. Despite the two different religious traditions there are a few striking commonalities between these holidays.

A major theme of Passover is humility—regaining or revisiting a deep sense of awe of G-d’s supreme power and magnificence. Humility was an integral part of Christ’s nature and of his message to humanity. Observance of Easter and Passover serve as markers and reminders for us to efface our inflated egos. Doing so requires honest, rigorous introspection.

moses_red_sea

Another significant commonality of these two religious holidays is the concept of spiritual salvation as a result of following G-d’s commandments: living a moral life and serving the common good. When we consistently rise above our selfish desires and transcend separation, we naturally enter an inner and outer experience of genuine beauty and celebration. In the process, we also realize the splendor of unity with diversity and the true meaning of freedom.

Real humility and ego transcendence certainly do not come easily or “cheaply;” they represent high ideals for which to aspire.

Wishing you a joyous season of sincere, profound humility, gratitude and awe!

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Waking Up to Spring

by on 5:26 pm in coaching questions

wildflower-meadow

Along with many animals hibernating, a lot of us essentially turn inward during the winter. As the changing season and weather beckon us to spring forth, I thought it would be fun and meaningful to pose several relevant questions and challenges on which you may reflect.

1) What 2-3 areas of your life most need your attention and effort at this time? (Clue: Look at what is important, but that you’ve been avoiding/resisting or need to “clean up.”)

2) At this time of rebirth, what seeds are ready to be born or reborn in your “fertile field?”

3) What potentially exciting opportunities and/or activities have you been avoiding, but are now willing to risk? When will you engage in them?

4) Are you willing to commit to accomplishing at least two specific agenda on your bucket list by the end of this summer?

5) Two major religious holidays are occurring at the end of this month:  Passover and Easter. How have your views of religion, spirituality, and/or G-d shifted since your youth or in recent years? What are you willing to do at this juncture to develop your spirituality?

I’d love to see a few of your responses in the comments below.

Wishing you a spring replete with vitality and deep fulfillment.  Make it so!

 

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In Quest of Notoriety

by on 12:38 pm in dangerous stunts, Violence

dangerous stunts

 

In recent years, a surge of violent or dangerous schemes to gain notoriety, mainly by young men, has been occurring.

The most heinous form of these narcissistic acts involves mass shootings that, according to subsequent investigations, appear to be motivated at least in part by the desire for infamy. Such motivation is radically different from that of terrorists, e.g. suicide bombers. Two prominent examples concern the huge carnage inflicted with assault weapons on children. In 2011, Anders Breivik murdered 69 children and wounded 110 (at least half of them seriously) at a summer camp in Norway. Last December, Adam Lanza killed virtually every one of the 28 people he shot in Newtown, MA (including his mother)—the 2nd deadliest shooting in American history. Yet another pair of notoriety-seeking schemes was uncovered in October 2012, just before they could be executed. Those involved a teenager in Denver, CO, who told his therapist that he planned to assassinate President Obama during his pre-election campaign trip to Denver, as well as shooting high school students. Fortunately, both incidents were prevented by the youth’s therapist notifying the police shortly before the guy went off on his intended shooting spree

Dangerous stunt videos, primarily created by teenage boys or young adult males, are now prolific on Youtube. Besides enjoying the excitement of taking big physical risks and feeling out of control, many of the guys performing these stunts admit that they are doing them to gain widespread attention. The dangerous acts, ranging from choking games to car or train-related stunts to wacky, home-based thrills, too often result in injuries or death.

Not everyone who commits violent or dangerous acts has a serious mental disorder. Some of the mass-attention seekers are easily bored, needing high levels of intense stimulation, and/or are apathetic about their lives. However, the rash of such episodes has, for obvious reasons, generated extensive concern, as best evidenced by the public outcry for gun control.

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